If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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