his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize