he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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