you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
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Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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