You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize