Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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