Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize