When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize