a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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