my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
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She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
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you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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