OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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