i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I am available for nakedness
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize