You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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