Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
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he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
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DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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