I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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