your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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