What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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