My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
And then he peed in my hair
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