I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
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She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
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I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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