$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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