So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize