i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize