I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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