i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
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im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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