do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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