he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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