I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize