the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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