Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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