That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
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I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
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seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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