Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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