i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize