i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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