you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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