walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
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knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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