i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize