is your mom at the bar?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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