She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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