we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
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I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
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I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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