Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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