It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize