Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize