I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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