Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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