no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize