Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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