Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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