Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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