Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize