Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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