She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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